004 – Cringe Memories

Do you ever sit still, hoping to enjoy the peace and quiet, when suddenly, a cringey memory attacks you? You weren’t searching for that memory that you buried deep down inside, but the memory found its way to the forefront of your conscious thought and now you’re trying to escape.

Since being back at home, the memories of my childhood have started rushing back with great force. It makes sense though – the environment you’re in shapes the thoughts in your mind. But why do they come up? Because I feel so darn uncomfortable for 5 seconds before I swat the thoughts away. And to all those that settled in the same city they grew up in, does this happen with high frequency to you too?

One of my friends believes that these memories pop up for a reason. Perhaps they’re a learning lesson that I need to be reminded of, and besides, realizing that memory was cringey in the first place means growth has occurred in the last 5 – 15 years.

I’ve been attempting to be more “meditative” with these memories by observing the thought and letting it go. And thankfully, not all memories that arise are awkward; recently I’ve been hanging out with my cousins, and I’ve started to remember joyful moments with them, like conversations at a wedding, shenanigans at board games, and stuffing our faces at holiday dinners. I certainly cherish the moments I have with my family.

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